March on

Past 6 months have been very eventful. Started my job, got exactly the kind of life partner I wanted, fell in love with her. She's awesome and I would love to write more about her (even knowing that it won't do justice to how really loving and loveable she is) but she's not the reason I'm writing here. It's the internal front that has made me write here.

For some years now, my internal life has been very interesting & exciting. I've been falling throughout have been pulled up. It has been the story all along. There are phases when the internal life has been as dry as desert, even drier. At times lightening illuminated it, at times even a bit of drizzle.

The hardest are the dry phases when I'm chafed by heat & sweat and the burning sand I'm buried in. I try to stand up but fail and I try again & again & again.... Finally I let it consume me & suddenly a hand pulls me up. It's touch alone soothes me, heals me, rejuvenates me. I try to walk again.

The phases with lightening & drizzle are the most wonderful. I walk, I jump in ecstasy, in leaps & bounds I cross the very planes of existence. I fly (to the very amazement of beings who fly for they don't see it in me but when they see the one who makes me fly they smile at me benignly). Wonderful things, what others call miracles I call grace, happen.

Past 6 months have been the driest in my life. I tried to stand, was smashed into the earth. I tried again, was smashed again. And again. And again. Sand in my eyes, my ears, my nostrils. I sniffed it away. Tried to stand again. Result the same. Sand again finding its own way.

At last I gave in. I accepted this sand, I made it a part of me. The march of the sand ceased. Just then a hand came down and lifted me up. The very touch rejuvenated me. I looked up and a drop fell on my brow.

“The drizzle is just around the corner my son,” said a voice. “Stand just a little more. I'm with you.”